that is what I am. Kayaking is rough stuff. Matt and I went to Belmont shores with his family on Saturday. It was a very trying experience both physically and emotionally. I am so used to family vacations with my family that anything else is weird. And I think I am one of those kids who gets all cranky when the routine is changed. (I nannyed a kid like that). Because I was all cranky and I could not figure out why. (well pms could have been a minor factor). But I am used to the laid back hang loose style of my dad, and Matt's fam is not like that. It is not bad or good, it just is. So I needed to get used to not splashing people. Whereas with my dad, he would have been the one trying to tip people's kayaks over. Althought the girls did get into the spirit when they brought a water gun (I thought it was funny) and I finally splashed them enough (Matt let's go faster, I need to get Caity) that they were allowed to splash back. haha It was fun though. And I got a major workout.
Matt also learned what happens when we make Megan do things she does not want to do. He made me play ultimate and got rammed into by my head. Needless to say he was shocked, and I got a good laugh out of people.
I also realized this weekend that I need to be a)more patient and b)more vocal in expressing my hurts. Like I had a few people hurt me this weekend, when I actually talked to them about it, it made it a lot better. I like to be non-confrontational so that I do not create waves. However I also like to create drama and get it all out. I am either too shy or way too much of a bitch. There is this part of me that just wants to yell at some people and call them out and go crazy on them. But I bite my tongue. For the most part. Then I make some underhanded remark, which Matt inevitable hears and tells me to be more Christlike. Last night my response to that was that Jesus called people out on stuff. Matt pointed out that Jesus was perfect. Eh, minor details. haha So I am trying to understand why people are the way they are and what that means for me. Matt says I need to be the bigger person. I know I do. It is just frustrating, because I just want to smack people and get them to see what they are doing to themselves and others. Ugh.
My apartment is killing me. It is never clean. Maybe that will change. Maybe I just need to accept it and move on... ugh
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Because apparently it is very hard. It is also hard to follow my speech. My hope is that this blog will give people a little bit of insight into how my mind works (very spatially). Enjoy! And comment if you visit, so I know who is leaving love!
3 comments:
Watersports with no splashing, tipping or goofing off of any sort? Totally not allowed. :)
yes, i saw the peeing boy and the girl. and thats really cool about working with senior girls. i loved being with seniors, its a really fun age.
so i got your letter/itunes today.
thank you so much, it was really encouraging and just what i needed today.
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