No longer a student

After 17 years of school. I am no longer a student. (until a year or so from now). It sunk in last night. Some of us from Praxis went to the U of R to pray for the school and I realized it was freshmen move in day. Exactly 4 years to the day had gone by since I started college. I saw all of the freshies walking down ad hill after screaming the Och Tamale. Then as I approached the Chapel I saw all of the tables from dinenr being taken down. It is a dinner with your freshman seminar and your parents. It was just surreal that I am not going there anymore. I called my dad and we got a little nostalgic.

Then I called Lisa. The girl who I met 4 years ago to the day and who has become a great friend. We talked about how much things had changed and how much we have all grown up. Looking back at that first day, I remember feeling anxious. I liked my roommates and hoped they liked me. And a little sad that my parents were leaving. And I met people who would change my life. Lisa and I thought we would be closer to Kell in the end, but really, it is Lisa and I who bonded and will continue to keep in touch. We do not talk all that often. But our weekly phoen calls keep us up to date, and I love hearing about her busy life. (she really is in the real world, being staffed at a huge company). Last night we talked about things such as health insurance, other benefits, and 401K plans. Something I had no idea about 4 years ago.

I guess this all goes to say it is weird to be done with school. But I am so glad I had this amazing experience. AND I think I will get to see some old friends come October for Centennial!

so sore

that is what I am. Kayaking is rough stuff. Matt and I went to Belmont shores with his family on Saturday. It was a very trying experience both physically and emotionally. I am so used to family vacations with my family that anything else is weird. And I think I am one of those kids who gets all cranky when the routine is changed. (I nannyed a kid like that). Because I was all cranky and I could not figure out why. (well pms could have been a minor factor). But I am used to the laid back hang loose style of my dad, and Matt's fam is not like that. It is not bad or good, it just is. So I needed to get used to not splashing people. Whereas with my dad, he would have been the one trying to tip people's kayaks over. Althought the girls did get into the spirit when they brought a water gun (I thought it was funny) and I finally splashed them enough (Matt let's go faster, I need to get Caity) that they were allowed to splash back. haha It was fun though. And I got a major workout.

Matt also learned what happens when we make Megan do things she does not want to do. He made me play ultimate and got rammed into by my head. Needless to say he was shocked, and I got a good laugh out of people.

I also realized this weekend that I need to be a)more patient and b)more vocal in expressing my hurts. Like I had a few people hurt me this weekend, when I actually talked to them about it, it made it a lot better. I like to be non-confrontational so that I do not create waves. However I also like to create drama and get it all out. I am either too shy or way too much of a bitch. There is this part of me that just wants to yell at some people and call them out and go crazy on them. But I bite my tongue. For the most part. Then I make some underhanded remark, which Matt inevitable hears and tells me to be more Christlike. Last night my response to that was that Jesus called people out on stuff. Matt pointed out that Jesus was perfect. Eh, minor details. haha So I am trying to understand why people are the way they are and what that means for me. Matt says I need to be the bigger person. I know I do. It is just frustrating, because I just want to smack people and get them to see what they are doing to themselves and others. Ugh.

My apartment is killing me. It is never clean. Maybe that will change. Maybe I just need to accept it and move on... ugh